When a gay baby is born (by popping out of a closet), the social myth surrounding this blessed event is that it should be a joyous occasion, something to celebrate with cakes and streamers and glitter and rainbow flags and unicorn shit.
The reality is somewhat different. Notwithstanding the difficulty of the birth for most gaybies (no matter what their physical age might be), the truth is they almost always come out damaged, in need of immediate repair. Unfortunately, these repairs are rarely undertaken, and if they are, they rarely happen quickly. Some gaybies remain broken for decades. Others hit the ground running and have a gay old time, complete with lots of fun and a boyfriend and lots of squeaky gorgeousness all round, but after a few years they fall over around the time of their gay adolescence, when the reality of queer life runs headfirst into the heteronormative lies of “the one” and “happily ever after”. Unlike our distant heterosexual relations, we aren’t born when we pop out of a womb, and we aren’t raised by our own kind, so when we are born we literally have no clue when it comes to questions about who we are, what we are, how our sexuality works in the word, how to handle notions of gender and apply these to ourselves - we know literally NOTHING! I spent more than a decade wandering around in self-hatred and disgust, but thinking the whole time that I knew myself and knew what it was to be queer in this very unqueer world. I didn’t. And when gaybies, both young and old, start preaching from a place of internalised homophobia and spreading their anti-gay homonegativity and internalised heterosexist nonsense, I take it personally, and I get pissed. My contribution to making things better is this Gay School page I made. Others try to make their own contributions, like Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” campaign. None of these contributions are perfect: they all contain flaws. But the point behind them is the same: when my closet gave birth to me I was a floundering gaybie, with only other floundering gaybies around me. All my queer elders were decimated by the plague: there was no one to explain this world to me, and no resources available like there are now for people coming out. And added to that, I thoguht I knew everything anyway! What saddens me the most is the sheer numbers of younger queers coming out, destined to keep our communities stalled in this purgatory of heteronormative self-hate, because they don’t like being told about something they think they know intimately but don’t. It’s not about indoctrinating people into a particular line of thought and forcing them to think something they don’t want to think. It’s about providing people with tools they’ve been denied their entire childhoods and adolescents by a culture that continues to suppress non-heterosexuality until we are almost too old to accept anything other that what the heteros think is normal. I really hope to see this mindset change one day, because it is LIBERATING to break free of it.
all of this
*eats you out as a friend*
Blows your back out as your homie
Gotchu walkin funny as a testament to our friendship.
makes you cum in the spirit of comradery
Got ur legs on my shoulders to show u how deep our friendship is
hits it from the back to let you know im here for you
For years, Samra Habib kept relatively quiet when it came to her identity. It can be hard for LGBT Muslims to find acceptance in a community that does not hold consistently tolerant views on same-sex equality.
But Habib will stay say silent no longer. Picking up her camera, the young photographer has begun an “aesthetically engaging” and “culturally demanding” project designed to finally bring needed visibility of the queer Muslim community to the world.
"Just Me and Allah" is a photography project originally created on Tumblr, but which will be in exhibition at a handful of locations in Toronto — the Canadian Lesbian & Gay Archives, Videofag Gallery and Parliament Street Library — in conjunction with WorldPride, beginning June 20.